Turn Off the Camera...
by Dusk to Ashes
Summary: 100 things you should NOT try to picture... or should you? [2 Chapters]
1. Default Chapter

Turn Off the Camera!  
(Don't picture these... or do?)  
Warnings: Silliness, OOC (duh), and probably some torture, but it's all fun and games until- oh, shoot. Sorry, Farf.  
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1) Omi the dominatrix [Ken: O.o Yohji: *dies* Nagi: Bring it on! XD]  
2) Nagi doing that [...]  
3) Crawford the French Maid  
4) Aya the used-car salesman  
5) Aya the used car salesman [Yohji: *snickers*]  
6) Yohji swearing off sex... or anything, for that matter [Aya: *too cool to snicker*]  
7) Farfie deciding to live by the theory that Nuriko hurts God  
8) Reiji the hippie  
9) President/Premier/King Schuldig (worse yet, Schu-the-Führer)  
10) Omi the pimp (*Aya, Yohji, and Ken exchange VERY worried looks*)  
11) Farfie revolutionizing Country music  
12) Crawford the two-dollar whore (Schuldig: And that's how many DM?)  
13) (think about it. Do you really WANT a 13 on a list like this?)  
14) Ken falling victim to America (instead of soccer, football!)  
15) Aya the overly social waitress  
16) Omi the Mazoku (Omi: *eyes gleam*)  
17) Farfie the genki florist  
18) Yohji the innocent little kid (kawaii, but... is it possible?!)  
19) Nagi the professional wrestler! [*everyone dies*] (erm, maybe his powers...?)  
20) Crawford the blue singer  
21) Ken the strict French ballet instructor  
22) The Schwarz taking ballet from him (yes, tutus)  
23) Farfie, crocodile hunter  
24) Omi the punk  
25) Aya and Crawford at a sleepover (read: pillow fighting over guys, makeovers)  
26) Yohji the censor (not!)  
27) Farfie the psychiatrist  
28) Schuldig knitting  
29) Crawford = Madonna  
30) Omi = Eminem  
31) Ken the rabid snail on caffeine! (Don't ask, or at least ask Nick)  
32) Farfie = Bob Ross ("Now, let's draw some happy little knives...")  
33) Yohji the dumb blonde... complete with pink miniskirt  
34) Aya the CourtTV judge with an attitude  
35) Crawford the Sonic rollerskating waitress  
36) Reiji the cab driver, mowing down pedestrians...  
37) Schu the tour guide  
38) Ken the gossipy hairstylist (read: tight designer clothes and flaming GAY)  
39) Omi the brainless jock  
40) Farfie the old lady with 5 billion cats s/he all knows by name  
41) Nagi the "desperate virgin" [Schu: *rofl*]  
42) Manx the drag queen [Yohji: So THAT explains it!]  
43) Crawford the obsessive Weiß yaoi fan  
44) Yohji the nerdy, dateless, outcast teen  
45) Aya's a lumberjack and he's okay, he likes to press wild flowers... (Monty Python fans know where this is going...)  
46) Omi the gold-digging bitch  
47) Reiji the shota (ugh, ugh, ugh, etc....)  
48) Nagi, Naga... don't tell me you haven't thought about it  
49) Ken making a justice speech - Ameria! (c'mon, klutz factor)  
50) Schuldig the DBZ addict (imagine, the hair)  
51) Farfie the TV Evangelist (or Farf on the 700 club)  
52) Crawford on a sugar high  
53) Yohji the housewife  
54) Aya the clown (picture Trowa)  
55) Omi the drug dealer (yoyoyo, homie G!)  
56) Schuldig teaching Sex ED (Erm, that's not quite what we meant...)  
57) Ken the cheerleader  
58) Nagi = Shinji [*everybody runs for the hills*]  
59) Farfie the model (picture the makeup commercials)  
60) Crawford the hick (picture a pic-eating contest, etc.)  
  
60's enough, and I'm outta ideas.  
~Neko4~  
March 2002 


	2. Not Again...

Not again!  
(Yes, MORE of them! Thanks to nice, polite people like Erebus ^_~ I have made 40 more, for a nice, round 100! Or 99... that's round, right? If pie are square!)  
Warnings: OOC, but of course... you really ought to be able to tell...  
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61) Yohji = Batman (think the old TV series)  
62) Aya = Batgirl (don't forget the cheesy music!)  
63) Schuldig teaching a pro-abstinence class, seriously  
64) Farfie in a gospel choir  
65) Crawford frolicking cheerfully in a field of flowers  
66) Reiji, Aya-chan, and Shota-kun starting a punk rock band (I had to write that name in there... XD)  
67) Ken the Avon lady  
68) Nagi starting his own brad of phonesex number (O.o)  
69) Omi at age 40. Just... imagine...   
70) Schuldig obedient public servant (and NOT like *that*)  
71) Yohji the line-dancer  
72) Aya doing stand-up comedy... at a gay club  
73) Sakura teaching a self-defense class ("Scream and close your eyes...")  
74) Crawford painting his nails... bright pink  
75) Farfie the leprechaun (selling Lucky Charms)  
76) Tot trying to live in New York (and the effect on the poor city)  
77) Little Bunny Schu-Schu... (it fits! Come on!)  
78) Ken leading an anger-management class  
79) Nagi singing karaoke- with American pop music ("Oh baby, baby...")  
80) Crawford the pixie/fairy  
81) Aya: "So my Pikachu does 30 damage to your Caterpie, and... I WIN! HAHAHA..."  
82) Omi joining the army  
83) Yohji the all-out militant feminist  
84) Farfie finding/founding a support group for blender-abusers  
85) Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Schuldig  
86) Ken the candy-striper  
87) Nagi in the mob  
88) Aya the scary reclusive janitor/lunchlady  
89) Crawford the frat boy  
90) Omi the goth (like a cuter, chibi Farfie)  
91) Yohji the monk  
92) Farfie the substitute teacher... YOUR substitute teacher!  
93) Schuldig on Who Wants to Be A Millionaire?  
94) Ken forsaking life to become a gamer  
95) Crawford running away to live in the trees  
96) Aya doing 10-10-220 commercials  
97) Nagi drunk (and the telekinetic side-effects thereof)  
98) Yohji (or Schuldig) the well-behaved, mannerly Boy Scout  
99) Omi the stalker  
100) Farfie taking a Home EC class (sewing needles, kitchen knives...)  
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All right, surely a hundred (or 99) is enough! ^_^;  
~Neko4~  
May 2002 


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